“My advice to
women comedians writers is: First of all, don’t worry about the money. Love the process. You don’t know when it’s gonna happen. Louis C.K. started hitting in his 40s; he’d been doing it for 20 years. And don’t settle. I don’t want to ever hear, “It’s good enough.” Then it’s not good enough. Don’t ever underestimate your audience. They can tell when it isn’t true. Also: Ignore your competition. A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: “Run your own race, put on your blinders.” Don’t worry about how others are doing. Something better will come.”
Joan Rivers 1933-2014
No one owes you a read. No one owes you a review. No one owes you a career. You are not entitled to a spot on a bestseller list. You are not entitled to fans. You are not entitled to a publishing deal.
Earn what you get and be grateful every day.
Until it’s free, people! I sent the notifications to Amazon. Cross your fingers that it doesn’t take long.
Okay, it’s September 1st. I’m off to
see the wizard write Stark Ink, so I won’t be around much this month. On October 1st I’ll put up the first few chapters. Amazon assures me that Doc and the box set will go live at Midnight on the 12th. Plus, I pre0rdered my own copy so I’ll be checking Sir William Throckmorton to make sure it downloads properly.
Have an awesome Labor Day holiday if you’re in America. Everyone else enjoy September! My word count widget (to the right) will be updated periodcally so you have at least a general idea of how it’s going.
So because I had Doc mostly ready to go on the day that Amazon announced they were giving pre-orders to indies, I uploaded it almost immediately. I also uploaded the Box Set last night.
Somehow in the last two hours, the Release Date for both items as it appears in my Reports Dashboard is now October 12, 2014.
The product pages for both as well as my Bookshelf information (and everywhere else) all list them correctly: September 12.
I’ve emailed Amazon to point out the bug and make sure that both items will drop in two weeks as promised. Pre-orders en masse are new, though, and we must all have patience as Amazon tries to weather the storm of tens of thousands of indies suddenly flooding them with manuscripts for pre-orders.
Obviously I will be staying up late on the 11th to make certain that my items go live when they are supposed to. We are all fighting an uphill battle. In a snowstorm. Without shoes.
I spent 8 full, entire hours prepping the Burnout Box Set to upload it to Amazon, Nook, iTunes, and Kobo. I previewed each individual page of the entire series before sending it.
Oh…my…God. My eyes.
If it goes live with formatting errors, I will be stabby.
So one of my friends invited me to a party Friday night. But not just any party. A dildo party. I have long been aware that these naughty tupperware parties exist, but I’ve never been invited to one. The best part is, the woman who invited me is so not a dildo party person. This is a woman who, before signing up for this event and sending out invitations, has likely never said the word “Dildo” before.
This is going to be awesome.
I am going to order so much insane stuff. Just to hear her say the word “Dildo” over and over. I’m going to make her repeat it, really loudly:
Me: “WHAT DID I ORDER, HON? I FORGOT!”
Her: “The King Kong Destroyer Dildo.”
Me: “Is that the one with realistic looking ballz on the end?”
Her: “I hate you.”
The downside is, she’s never going to invite me to another dildo party.
I think I should write a Tarot-themed romance series. I’m surprised that my internet research hasn’t turned up more Tarot-themed romances. Why isn’t everyone doing this??!!! Maybe it’s bad luck. I should do it anyway. Because I need even more projects in my life. /sarcasm.
But still…. would you read it or is it too woo-woo?
Clearly. Because in the last few days I bought a watch, a deck of Tarot cards, a monthly planner, and one of those fake peanut brittle cans with the coiled “snake” in them. And today my recommendations are insane. Their analytics people be like:
Giant green balls. Tell her she wants to buy giant green balls.
I FUCKING QUIT! I’M GOING TO WORK FOR GOOGLE, MOTHERFUCKERS!